If you don’t know about the FOTA, or the Fluffers of the Apocalypse, they are the dire warnings of the coming of the coming of the End Times. They’ve begun to show their greasy heads, donned in backwards, dirty, ill fitting baseball caps and wearing insect-like oversized sunglasses. They’ve been driving down the streets in pink Mary Kay hummers, their Abercrombie sweaters lint free and reeking of Axe body spray. They’ve been running major media corporations and giving massive coverage to other FOTÆ for showing their gonorrhea-puss dripping lady parts after a night of free drinks at trendy douchecothèques while completely ignoring a god-damn war in which actual people are being maimed and dying.
So, I document them here for you, to let you know that the end is getting kind of close, at the very least a little closer than it was a century or three ago.
The latest FOTA sighting appears to be an infiltration into a major movie studio. Millions of dollars that could have gone to cancer research, feeding the homeless, baba ghanoush or a movie starring a half naked Milla Jojovich fighting robotic ninja hookers was spent, instead, on something far more sinister. A movie that uses enough computer driven effects to make a sequel to the Matrix that didn’t suck unshaven track runner nuts. A movie with a premise so horrible it should have caused immediate cranial implosion to anyone that heard it pitched. Instead, it was not only made, it was made by Disney, a company who has long cultivated an image of talent and family friendly fare while actually cultivating evil, genetically crossbred zombie-Nazi sunflower mutants in order to create a sea-salted snack food based brainwashing agent that’s both healthy and delicious.
To let you know how far we’ve fallen as a society, here’s the link: