Maniacal Ventures

Delusional Self Importance

Driving into work today, there was a huge, shiny, black Hummer H3 taking up a lane and a half to my right. I would argue that the egotistical schmucks who still drive these things are so starved for attention they will bankrupt themselves just to be noticed. It’s kind of sad, but not so abnormal in this society.

What strikes me as pathetic is that someone actually paid extra money for vanity plates so that they could not only advertise what kind of vehicle they’re driving, but to point out to the world that they paid an ego tax to tell everyone that they’re ‘very important’. The license plate read ‘VIP H3’ which is, firstly, pretty idiotic, since the huge and distinctive H3 already announces its brand and model with ginormous, gaudy, chromesque, stick on lettering. Secondly, a person is usually given awards for excellence. Nobel Prizes go to people who excel in sciences, physics, literature, medicine and peace. A bloated salary awaits those who excel in business. If you are a talented journalist, you can strive to receive a Pulitzer. For every conceivable talent, no matter how trivial, there is usually a group of peers who will bestow upon their best and brightest some form of accolade. There are trophies given out for people who can throw a heavy ball down a greased, wooden chute, and knock over  the most wooden pins standing at the end. Hell, there’s an international museum devoted to its best players. Now, don’t get me wrong, bowling is much harder than is looks. I’m just saying that there is an available award for anyone who actually puts some time and effort into something. Yet, this person has decided to pay a fee to be able to advertise that, to themselves, they are a ‘Very Important Person’ and not for any talent, invention or peer accepted successes. They are announcing that they are a VIP because they bought a huge, gas-guzzling vehicle with a shitty trade-in value and which is dangerous to themselves and others. Bravo! Guess what? If you tell people that you are important enough times and loud enough, someone, somewhere might believe you! So say it in under seven letters on your license plate! Wheee!

Moron. I have a firm belief that people who have to tell you, loudly and without class, that they are special, are not special.

Actually, maybe I was reading the acronym incorrectly. It may actually stand for ‘Very Ignorant Pinhead’.

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