Maniacal Ventures

The Real reason Sarah Palin is [temporarily] on the Repugnican Ticket

After a little thought and a little discussion, I had a revelation about McCain’s (handlers) Veep choice. It’s so obvious it’s almost embarrassing that I didn’t catch on sooner. Sarah Palin is what in is war, hunting and narcotics stings called a decoy. Give me a few minutes and I’ll explain why she’s nothing more than a patsy, ‘hand picked’ not as a viable candidate but merely as a way to give tired, old McCain a small vacation and a temporary reprieve from scrutiny.

Years ago, it seemed, the Presidential nominee wasn’t chosen until a few minutes before they printed the ballots and the Vice president wasn’t picked until the new Prez had been redecorating the Oval Office for at least a month or two. But politics has followed the same path as holiday decorations. Years ago, you couldn’t buy Easter candy or festive strings of lights more than a few weeks before their respective holidays. But each year, some store would display their products a day or two earlier, trying to get an edge over the competition. After years of easing back the display dates we now have bleeding zombie heads on the shelf next to packs of sparklers and bloated, creepy, dancing Santa animatronics blocking the last few cans of cranberry sauce and sage flavored Stove Stop Stuffing. These people have been campaigning for a year and a half already. These candidates have been prostituting themselves on your televisions longer than the average run of a Nathan Fillion series. But even though they’ve been campaigning for so long, there’s still a couple of months to go. There is still plenty of time to remove Palin and replace her with a talking-head puppet with a “Property of the NeoCons” tattoo on the back of their neck. We are entering the part of the campaign where even Gandhi would’ve punched an elderly woman in the neck to get a vote. Every mistake that these guys make is going to be magnified and then used against them like a bludgeon and McCain has been nothing lately but a wooden puppet, hazy and addled and unable to even remember his puppetmaster’s orders. They need to give him a break, to remove him from the limelight, let him get his 15 hours of sleep a night and put the focus on someone who will draw attention away from him and time, money and resources away from his opponents and who can then be forgotten in the weeks before the election.


There’s a video going around that purports to show McCain ogling Palin’s ass. I watched it. First, let me remind everyone that McCain is older than the state that Palin represents and that he couldn’t get a boner if you shot tainted, rabid, Viagra-addicted monkey blood directly into his withered member. He’s not thinking about sex – the man is nodding off. What better way to draw attention from their nearly petrified candidate than to put the most horrible Bizzaro version of him in as running mate? This woman is not even slightly qualified to be Vice Prez, although she has plenty of qualifications to be the perfect decoy. All of these things are public and easy to find. The NeoCons knew about these things, and are depending on them to give McCain his much needed media vacation.

Think about the following (partial) list of things that have been ‘found out’ about her. As a VP candidate (or as just a human being), these things are pretty horrible and you wonder why any sane person would choose her to run. Reread them, this time understanding that McCain’s handlers both knew about these things and chose this lamia as a way to take the heat off of their collapsing mess of a candidate:

We’ve got a woman who’s governmental experience is as suited to Vice Presidential as is applying to be CEO of Microsoft with nothing but 2 years of Taco Bell management experience under you belt, who’s professed that god and Alaska are more important than her country, who’s daughter is a glaring failure of her attempts to inject religion into policy, whose draconian and illegal abuse of power has her under investigation and you soon begin to realize that there is no way that she’s going to be our next Vice President.

But then again, listen to people talk and you get this apathy mixed with an almost slack jawed drooling of Fox nonsense and you realize that a very large part of this country either doesn’t care enough or is so brainwashed that they just don’t know any better. The Repugnican Convection (where hot air rises) highlights showed a huge screen with a larger than life, Howdy-Doody-esque, excremental spewing George W. Bush, grinning vacantly and looking lost and all I could think of was that we’re in a pitiful, sad version of Apple’s 1984 commercial and I don’t have hot shorts or a sledge hammer. Joe ‘Say It Ain’t So’ Lieberman was quoted as saying ‘God only made one John McCain, and he’s his own man’, which would actually make a small amount of sense where it not for Mccain’s own campaign warning voters to ignore the words coming out of McCain’s mouth because McCain doesn’t speak for McCain’s own campaign. Don’t tell me about the man’s independence days after telling me to ignore him since he spoke outside of some platform written by a committee of NeoCons.

McCain is getting a break here as we stupidly scramble to uncover this woman’s flaws. What we need to do, instead of wasting our time, money and energy on showing her as a horrible candidate is to increase pressure on McCain and keep away from Palin. Give them absolutely no reason to remove her from the ticket while keeping the heat on McCain. I will bet, even then, some excuse will suddenly arise to make her step down. The concern for her daughter, which hasn’t been demonstrated yet, seems obvious, although she’s been exploiting her Down’s Syndrome son and Military son as well, and the Repugnicans could most certainly take any of the obvious, public and career shattering gaffes and use it to destroy her after she has served her purpose in much the same way they use then discard the poor and middle class of this country. Instead of giving them an excuse, make them admit failure. Instead of giving McCain time to rest and regroup, redouble your efforts and interviews. Don’t fall for this obvious, desperate charade. Try, at least once, to look like the academics, geeks and nerds they they make you out to be.

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